A Simple Kind of Life
by JeanSMX
Summary: Jake reflects on the past.


A Simple Kind of Life  
  
Author: Jean  
Email: jeansmx@crosswinds.net  
Rating: PG-13  
Disclaimer: I don't own Jake or Ham or the song used in this fic.  
Summary: Jake reflects on the past.  
Author's note: The full song at the end is not mine, but the little bits and pieces of lyrics   
that are in Italics through the middle are from old poems I wrote. What can I say I   
needed original music! Oh and it kind goes without saying now that anything in Italics is   
music being sung that the characters can here. You'll get it as you read. Oh an be   
warned I cried my eyes out when writing this be prepared for that.  
  
***   
  
Have you ever had one of those moments, the kind that you know will change your life. I   
have had a few of those. But the most important one happened during my senior year of   
high school.   
  
My high school years were, well anything but normal. You see I went to an all boys   
school. And well since I am female that made things… interesting. At first no one knew   
I was a girl, and well that complicated things when I fell for one of the guys there. You   
see I slipped, I kissed him. I was lucky he didn't beat the shit out of me. I was even   
luckier we about 2 weeks or so later he kissed me. He freaked of course, thinking we   
were gay, and then I shocked the hell out of him when I showed him I was really a girl.  
  
Your probably wondering why I did this, I mean the whole dress as a boy thing. I did it   
to get my mother's attention. She was always busy with her work, and didn't really have   
time for me. I thought if I did this and eventually got caught she might just take notice.   
But once I met him the last thing I want was to get caught.  
  
So here I was, a girl dressing as a boy, going to an all boys school and in love with my   
new best friend. And he loved me back. It was rough on him, on both of us at first. We   
had a hard time hiding our feelings around everyone. So naturally most of the guys at   
school thought we were gay.  
  
Eventually we let a group of close friend in on my secret. They made it easier for us.   
And helped us squash some of the rumors. So with a little help from our friends I lasted   
through the next 3 years.  
  
We had talked about possible going to the same college and maybe getting married. We   
couldn't wait for the chance to really be together out in the open. But you then he got   
into his dream school. It was an art school in Italy with an incredible photography   
program. He told me he was going. That it would probably be good for us to spend   
some time apart. He said we were too dependent on each other that we need to find   
ourselves before we could give each other forever.  
  
They say in the moment before you die your whole life flashes before your eyes. Well in   
that moment my heart died, and the life I had pictured for he and I flashed before my   
eyes. The wedding we would never have. The house we would never live in. The kids   
we would never have.   
  
I went to my room that night and cried for hours. He came to my room and tried to make   
me feel better. Tried to convince me that it would all work out. Told me how much he   
loved me.  
  
But in the end I was right. The phone calls, emails and letters, went from everyday, to   
once a week, to once a month and eventually stopped.  
  
Every once in awhile I think about all those plans and dreams we once had. And how   
they wouldn't fit into my life now. I'm not that same naïve girl with dreams of a home   
and a family. But I am grateful for everything that happened. If it hadn't I wouldn't be   
here now.  
  
***   
  
Hamilton was running late as always. He couldn't seem to ever be on time. He was to   
work a concert. He was supposed to get there before the show. But looking at his watch   
he realizes it has already started.  
  
He makes his way quickly to the press entrance of the arena. "Sylvia is going to be   
pissed." He thinks as he jogs with his camera bag over his shoulder through the halls of   
the arena. He stops when he spots Sylvia leaning up against the wall across from the   
entrance into the main area. He could hear the music blaring from inside.  
  
"I am so sorry." He says as he approaches. "Traffic."  
  
"Hamilton." She says shaking her head. "If you weren't such a great photographer the   
magazine would fire your ass."  
  
Hamilton smiles. "I really am sorry. So what did I miss?"  
  
"Well I already got me interview before the show. So I guess you will have to wait and   
take the close up shots after the show."  
  
"So." He says nodding towards the concert in progress. "Is this new girl any good?"  
  
"Has possibilities. Good voice, and she writes her own music."  
  
Hamilton nods. "Well I might as well get in there and take some shots of the concert.   
What is her name again?"  
  
"Jacq, she goes by just Jacq. J-A-C-Q." She tells him as they walk into the main area of   
the arena. They are near the back and Hamilton takes in his surroundings. The beat of the   
music is pounding in his chest.  
  
The sun beats down  
Hot on my skin  
I hear the birds   
I feel the wind  
Everything is so still  
Your not here  
  
Hamilton turns to Sylvia. "I am heading up there to get some shots." He tells her as he   
points to the high seats against the back wall of the arena.  
  
"Okay I am going up to the press area. Meet me there when you are done."   
  
Hamilton nods and turns to start up the stairs. When he feels he is high enough he gets   
out his camera. He starts with crowd shoots. The audience is filled mostly with young   
girls and women.  
  
As I wake I will think of you  
You were everything  
You were mine  
But they took you now it's their time  
I know what I must do   
  
As the song ends Hamilton shakes his head. "Angry chick music." He thinks as he   
continues snapping the camera. "But she does have a good voice."  
  
What's it like  
To have an empty heart   
To feel yourself fall  
And have your world torn apart  
  
He turns toward the stage looking through his view finder, and starts snapping shots of   
the stage. He doesn't have his zoom lens on yet so he can't make out much about the   
singer except for the colors of her clothes. She is wearing some kind of red pants and a   
black tank top or something close to that.  
  
I wait for time to pass  
For memories to fade  
There's no more sun in my life   
I live in shade  
  
Despite himself he starts to enjoy the music. Once he feels he has gotten enough shots he   
turns and reloads his camera, puts on his zoom lens and starts for the press area in the   
front near the stage.  
  
Hamilton spots Sylvia and makes his was to her, he is about to lean in to her ear to speak   
when the song stops, he starts to say something but stops and looks up as the singer   
speaks.  
  
"Thanks! Well this is point where I include the standard cover song. I only do the one   
but this one has special meaning for me." She speaks into the microphone.  
  
Hamilton stares up at the stage. "It can't be." He thinks. "I don't believe it." He finally   
speaks.  
  
Sylvia looks toward him. His eyes are glued on the young woman on stage. "What?"  
  
Hamilton shushes her so he can hear the object of his attention speak.  
  
"I dedicate this song to the partner in the life I never got to have."  
  
For a long time I was in love  
Not only in love, I was obsessed  
With a friendship that no one else could touch  
It didn't work out, I'm covered in shells  
  
Hamilton is in shock. There in front of him on stage is his Jake, singing. He quickly   
brings his camera to his eye and begins to take pictures.  
  
And all I wanted was the simple things  
A simple kind of life  
And all I needed was a simple man  
So I could be a wife  
  
"This is for me." He thinks as he watches Jake pour her soul into the music.  
  
I'm so ashamed; I've been so mean  
I don't know how it got to this point  
I always was the one with all the love  
You came along, I'm hunting you down  
  
"She is still so damn beautiful." He whispers out load, not that any one could here it over   
the music.  
  
Like a sick domestic abuser looking for a fight  
And all I wanted was the simple things  
A simple kind of life  
  
If we met tomorrow for the very first time  
Would it start all over again  
Would I try to make you mine?  
  
He continues to take pictures as she sings.  
  
I always thought I'd be a mom  
Sometimes I wish for a mistake  
The longer that I wait the more selfish that I get  
You seem like you'd be a good dad  
  
As she sang those last words Hamilton sees her look directly at him through the   
viewfinder. And his arms go limp and he lowers the camera and just stares at the stage,   
the meaning behind the song pulling at his heart.   
  
Now all those simple things are simply too  
Complicated for my life  
  
Jake's eyes make their way back to Hamilton's and she can see him now that the camera   
is not covering his face.  
  
How'd I get so faithful to my freedom?  
A selfish kind of life  
  
She isn't able to take her eyes away. And a tear begins to slowly run down her cheek.  
  
When all I ever wanted was the simple things  
A simple kind of life  
  
Jake sees in her mind a younger version of Hamilton lower himself to one knee and open   
a black velvet box.  
  
A simple kind of life  
  
Hamilton is now standing in the front of church watching her walk toward him all in   
white.  
  
A simple kind of life  
  
The bright lights of a hospital shine on her as Hamilton holds her hand and urges her to   
push.  
  
A simple kind of life  
  
She looks down into the face of her daughter in her arms as Hamilton sits besides her   
holding them both.  
  
A simple kind of life  
  
She is carrying a cake topped with four candles and sits it in front of her son. And looks   
over at Hamilton with a video camera filming as the boy blows out the candles.  
  
A simple kind of life  
  
The wind is blowing through her hair as she sits on her front porch watching Hamilton   
run in the yard with her son and daughter playing with a Frisbee.  
  
A simple kind of life  
  
She turns and cries into Hamilton's shoulder as they drop off their now 15-year-old son at   
Rawley.  
  
A simple kind of life  
  
Her beautiful dark haired daughter walks down the isle on Hamilton's arms as she   
watches from her seat with tears in her eyes.  
  
A simple kind of life  
  
She sits on the front porch alone with Hamilton staring at their now wrinkled hands.  
  
A simple kind of life…  
  
  
THE END  
  
  
  



End file.
